Anal: Starting Off
With a wide-range of different sexual activities available to us, perhaps one of the most daunting for newcomers is anal. Holding a `you either love it or you hate it` atmosphere about it, there’s no wonder plenty of people are a bit evasive when using the backdoor gets brought up during sex. However, anal can offer an amazing experience, bringing unique pleasure to sex and spicing up bedroom sessions that have maybe gotten a little bit stale. With the satisfaction and jaw-dropping orgasms up for grabs, how come people are so averse to taking a pounding in the rear?
First, we should acknowledge that anal CAN hurt. It can hurt a lot if you’re unprepared and unwilling, which is why understanding the necessary steps for anal is so important. With the right preparation and a positive attitude, you may just find your new favorite bedroom activity. So, let’s get into SVAKOM’s guide to trying anal.
Psyche Yourself Up
Like any type of sexual activity, you tend to enjoy it more if you actually want to do it. We have all had moments where we’re not really into a particular hook-up or just masturbating because we’re bored, and it never feels that great; going through the motions without any real drive. Anal is no different. If you’re ready to take the plunge and try some fun from the rear then you’re going to want to make sure that when the moment arrives, you’re excited and eager – not dreading the inevitable.
You should never be forced into doing something you don’t want to, and enthusiastic consent is incredibly sexy, so know your boundaries and if the timing isn’t right then make sure to give a firm no. There’s no use giving flippant “oh I don’t know” answers, it’s your body and you know what you like so take a moment to see what your body is feeling and then make a decision. If your partner refuses to acknowledge your answer and your desires, then you should probably start looking for a new partner – you should never feel pressured into doing anything.
Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash
Lube, So Much Lube
Use. Lots. Of. Lube. We cannot express this enough; you will need so much lube if you want to do anal. While sexual organs like the vagina (and to some extent the penis) are capable of self-lubricating – getting a little slick and `wet` when arousal happens, the anus does not. So, make sure you have a bottle of water-based lubricant available and don’t be shy when applying it.
The best anal sex is the kind that can freely slide in and out, flowing between yourself and your partner(s) with a satisfying smoothness only available when you’re slip`n`sliding in copious amounts of lube – and don’t be afraid to add more! The anus is capable of absorbing large amounts of moisture, which means over time that sweet sweet pounding is going to start feeling like an oversized train attempting to enter a far too small station – ouch.
Pay attention to how your body is feeling during sex and when you start feeling a little dry down below, stop and add some more lube. It can easy to get a little carried away, especially if you’re experiencing glorious pressure at your sweet spot, but the last thing you want is for that pleasure to turn into pain so just remember: if it starts to hurt, lube up.
Keep Calm & Loosen Up
Your connection with your body is the key to having great sex – of any kind. But when our nerves get the best of us, we can end up hindering our satisfaction. When you’re getting ready for your first, fourth, twentieth attempt at anal it’s important to relax your body. When we’re nervous or anxious about what’s to come, our bodies will react in kind; closed for business do not enter.
Take deep breaths as you get ready for something to enter you and try to relax your body. Once it’s at your entrance, trying to release the muscles around your anus and push them out ever so slightly to open them up. Focus on what turns you on and ask your partner(s) to distract you if necessary (ear biting, kissing the neck, playing with nipples etc) – the better you feel the more into it your body will be.
If you find yourself unable to relax and the getting something inside you is proving to be a chore, then switch to another activity. You can come back to anal later or just shelve it for now and put it on the back burner until a later date. There will never be a moment where you HAVE to have anal sex right that second and any partners you have should respect your right to change your mind.
Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash
Rim Glorious Rimming
Penetration isn’t the only way to stimulate the anus for some `grab the sheets` level of absolute bliss – rimming can be a mind-blowing experience that feels just as good (if not better) than sex. It also helps that, in the grand scheme of things, rimming is a wonderful way to prepare for penetration.
Having a partner use their tongue to tentatively tease and caress your anus adds some much-needed wetness down below and feels fantastic – but like any good thing, it takes time and effort. When rimming it’s important to dedicate a good amount of time to the activity and really have your partner get stuck in there.
This can be an amazing opportunity to let passion take over, feverishly spreading you wider with their hands as they chow down on a divine ambrosia, lose yourself in the moment and don’t be afraid to shout, scream, beg, command. Whatever gets you and your partner(s) going will be amplified if you lose yourself in the moment.
Tidy-up a Little
We, unfortunately, cannot talk about anal with talking about the uh, risks, if you will.
For your own peace of mind, for the sake of your partner(s), and just for the sake of general cleanliness – you’re going to what to give yourself a good clean. This goes behind a surface scrub to something a little more internal. There are plenty of options available to make the cleaning process a little easier but one of the more recognizable options is to invest in a douche. This will let you thoroughly clean your insides and flush out any undesirable parts.
The cleaning aspect of anal can be what puts a lot of people off, seeing it is gross or time-consuming. However, you really shouldn’t put it off – there’s no bigger turn off than being down and dirty and getting a big waft of that… smell. You know the one. It’s for the best so much sure to plan in advance and schedule your cleaning time.
It would be a good idea as well to plan your meals – avoid food high in fibre or anything that makes you need to use the bathroom, and stay away from food at least an hour before you start having sex.
There are lots of different ways to prepare, and however you choose to get yourself ready is fine, but make sure that at the end of the day you’re having a good time. Sex is supposed to feel amazing, and anything that doesn’t well… why do it? There’s no harm in going “yeah that is not for me” and you should always be vocal with your preferences.
We hope this helps and remember, when it comes to sex your comfort and consent should always be the priority. Anal sex can be amazing but if, at the end of the day, you just don’t want to try it – then don’t. Enthusiastic consent is sexy in any situation, so be forward with what you find hot as well as what you find not so appealing.