Exploring Love Languages

Posted by SVAKOM 22/02/2022 0 Comment(s) Official blog,

What are love languages?


Conveying love isn’t always as simple as saying the three magic words. For some, saying it out loud is intimidating or fails to fully convey their feelings. Everyone speaks and interacts differently when conveying their love – which leads us to love languages.


Love languages are a concept created by Gary Chapmen and explained in detail in his book series `The 5 Love Languages`. To over-simplify it, love languages are a method of defining how we perceive and express love. They signify the actions we hold most important when expressing our love, and the ways in which we may miss demonstrations towards us.


What are the 5 love languages?


- Acts of Service


This love language follows the idea that you perceive and convey love through acts. These can range from a friend/romantic interest completing chores for you without you asking, or you do something to help them.


- Receiving Gifts


This one may sound selfish and greedy, but that would be a misunderstanding. This love language focuses on material displays of love, as well as understanding. This love language is conveyed through acts of giving, be this a friend/romantic interests favorite snack without them asking, or small tokens of their affection. The idea of something thinking of you upon seeing something.


- Words of Affirmation


Verbal as opposed to physical or material, this love language focuses on methods of communication and declaration. Telling a friend/romantic interest that you are proud of them or complimenting them out of the blue. These reaffirming words of care spark the brightest for those whose love language aligns here.


- Quality time


For those aligning with this love language, spending time – uninterrupted – with a friend/romantic interest is most important to them. Taking the time to put phones away, complete a task together, or engage in a shared hobby can mean the world to those most in-tune with quality time.


- Physical Touch


Often seeming like the primary form of expressing love, physical touch relates to intimacy through physical contact; hugs and hand holding over words. Through the desire to touch someone you convey your love for them, and in return see being touched often as an expression of love towards you.


How do you find out your love language?


Ultimately, love languages aren’t a concrete, singular identity. They vary in how much each one means to us and shouldn’t be seen as `this one specific love language is the one for me`. We divide our attention and desire throughout all aspects of life – even in love.


Think of various examples for each love language and ask yourself how meaningful that would be to you. If someone sees your tired or stressed and cleans your home/work area for you, would that be akin to a declaration of love? Or if an important person in your life returns from a long day bearing a keychain of your favorite animal they want to give you because it reminded them of you, does that make you feel appreciated?


You should further consider how you express love to others. Do you demonstrate your love through words of admiration and praise? Or do you prefer to show your love through hugs and touching?


Of course, there’s a much easier way – you can just take the quiz to find your love languages here:https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language


The official love languages website also features other quizzes relating to apology languages and anger assessment.


Why should I know my love language?


Learning your love language can be an incredibly beneficial asset to your relationships. By learning the way in which we express our love, and the different ways that others may perceive that, we are able to better assess our actions and words. We are able to better identify someone else’s love language, and how we can communicate with them to help prevent misunderstandings. As we continue to grow and learn more and more about ourselves, we are able to better understand others and assess situations with more clarity.


It’s possible to think “but if I’m already doing my love language, why bother to find out what it is?” which is a fair assessment. But first, it’s fun! It’s entertaining learning new things about ourselves and others – surely, you’ve taken quirky quizzes before and then asked a friend to do it, so you can compare? This is no different.


Learning your love language can be a great way to take steps towards preventing conflict. Quite often arguments are born out of misunderstandings – attaching our idea of love onto another, assuming others deal with anger or sadness in the same way as us, at times our acts of love can be perceived as negligence or frustrating acts to those with different love languages.


Deepening our bonds with friends, family, romantic partners – it helps us grow. In the past you might have argued with a good friend, only to look back and realize you could have handled things better. By developing the ways, we perceive other’s actions, we can handle situations better than before. Plus, registering a romantic interest’s love language and making efforts to demonstrate your love for them the way they best understand can make them feel special, loved, wanted.