What Makes a Blowjob “Good”? The Real Skills That Matter (and the Myths to Ignore)

If anyone has ever told you that “you should know how to give a blowjob” or that “it should just come naturally,” then think again. Girl–let us tell you: it’s okay if you have NO IDEA where to start. We’ve all been there.

What really matters when giving a blowjob

First of all, if you’ve never given head or had a first terrible experience, it’s okay to feel insecure. Although sex is highly romanticised in movies, reality is often a far cry from whatever you can find on Netflix. It’s different–yes–but it doesn’t need to suck.

It’s okay to ask what they like

Let’s begin with the number one advice you should take home. You are not supposed to know what your partner likes. For instance, everyone has different tastes, so the only way you can truly know if you’re doing it right is to communicate. And no: it doesn’t kill the vibe, if done nicely. Smile, take a pause, tease him, and ask, “How do you like it?” or “Does it feel good?” or simply “Do you enjoy this?” It’s literally what we all do!

Giving a blowjob should feel pleasurable for you, too!

Yes, girl. Sex is a two-way experience. Your partner should enjoy it, but you should feel comfortable, too. Do not do anything unless you feel ready and open to exploring new things. A good partner will allow you time to decide when it’s okay for you to move on to something new. This is about boundaries and respect. You can always choose.

“Okay, but I hate giving head. I wish I liked it. It’s just SO weird. And it’s uncomfortable.”

Let’s break this down.

• “I don’t know what to do” - Keep it simple. Start slowly. Experiment. And use your hands! Sex is about exploring new sensations with yourself and your partner. Start in the shower if you are worried about hygiene. Start with licking or teasing only if that serves as a warm-up for you.

• “I don’t want to gag” - You don’t have to! The gag reflex is +normal. Keep in mind that most penises are longer than the usual length of someone’s throat. Use your hands if you don’t want to go too in-depth. Change the angle and the speed as you wish. 

• “I don’t like going too fast” - Again, a good blowjob isn’t necessarily an aggressively fast one. Everyone has the right to like or dislike specific moves in the bedroom. Talk with your partner if you want to be transparent. We are sure he will understand. Besides, there isn’t just speed. You can play with rhythm, pressure, and you can touch other points he might like, such as his balls or the perineum area.

Practical tips for giving an unforgettable blowjob

You asked for practical tips, and we’re delivering. After all, giving a blowjob can, and should, be fun for both of you. Techniques can vary, and you can mix and match sensations and sex toys to never get bored.

Giving head 101

First, choose comfortable positions. He can lie down, sit, and even stand up. But you can gently (or not-so-gently) move him if you start to feel strained. Try different angles, or use a pillow! Jaw or neck fatigue is REAL. So, take a break if you need to. To avoid an awkward moment, just switch to hands, kissing, teasing, or anything else!

Your toolbox? That includes speed, rhythm, pressure control, your hands, mouth, tongue, and even your breasts.

●     Start slow, and vary the speed based on his feedback and your taste. Once you find a pattern that works, keep it for a while, then change it.

●     For pressure control, use your lips! Make sure your lips cover your teeth, so no one gets hurt, hehe. You can also add your hands or add a vibrating cock ring while you’re sucking the tip of the penis.

●     Keep in mind that sometimes simplicity is better than sophistication. A good blowjob isn’t necessarily one where you’re switching techniques constantly. Keep breathing, and do what comes naturally. If you want to look at him, do it! Looking into your partner’s eyes opens the doors to some vulnerability. But that can be great to make them genuinely feel seen, rather than just physically connected.

●     Don’t forget that a wide array of masturbation toys can come in handy when you get tired, wish to switch activities, but perhaps you still want to keep pleasing your partner. Between one session and another, you can use a masturbator as an exciting addition. You can stay in control of the speed and intensity and enjoy watching your partner’s reaction. It can be truly fun, and a good way to keep the playful vibe going.

How to deal with hygiene, safety, and taste preferences

We’ve covered most of the basics, but some key points still must be addressed. Hygiene and safety should always be your priority. It’s right to expect, and ask for, good levels of hygiene when it comes to any sexual activity. If you’re not sure where your partner stands, suggest a shower together! If you want to start giving head but have never felt confident enough because you were worried about bad smells or tastes… Then, shower it is. It’s normal not to smell like flowers if you’ve both come home from a dinner. Each body smells differently.

As for safety–yes–you can get infections from a blowjob. And no, you cannot get pregnant by giving head. Unless you know for sure your partner has tested negative for STIs, use a condom. Afraid of the latex taste? That’s where flavored condoms and edible lubricants come into play.

Our closing thought? Do not think of giving a blowjob as if it’s a pass-or-fail exam. You literally cannot do anything wrong. Sex is supposed to be a self-discovery experience. Always do what feels good and comfortable for both you and your partner.