The Best Sex Toys That Don’t Look Like Sex Toys
If we lived in a perfect world, none of us would feel embarrassed to own sex toys.
We wouldn’t have to hide them in the wardrobe, or under the mattress, or wrapped in a T-shirt in a bedside drawer. But we don’t live in a perfect world. We live in a world of shared apartments, intrusive parents, and friends with no boundaries.
Part of the problem is that, traditionally, sex toys look suspicious. Sex toys look like… well they look like sex toys, ya know? And until we collectively usher in a utopian new world free from judgment and shame, we have to look for workarounds.
Discreet Sex Toys
One of those workarounds is choosing sex toys that don’t look identifiably erotic at first glance. In other words, sex toys that don’t look like sex toys. Discretion and privacy are at the heart of all Svakom’s designs, and none of our products look like a sex toy from 20 years ago.
But below, we’ve picked out some favorite innocuous, incognito, and otherwise discreet sex toys in disguise. Let’s go.
Edeny
The Edeny vibe is what we in the sex toy bizz call a ‘wearable’ – it’s designed to be worn inside your underwear for some subtle eroticism anywhere you want to go. As such, it has to be discreet by definition.
But it’s not just a panty-vibe. It’s really, really useful for those of us who need a little bit of covert pleasure at home too. Edeny is the kind of vibe that you can realistically leave on your desk and no one’s going to notice it at first glance.
Also, we know that many of us have to masturbate in the shower – there’s a lock on the bathroom door and a sense of privacy in there. So Edeny is 100% waterproof. It fits in the palm of your hand, looks elegant, and is completely above suspicion.
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Sam Neo 2 Pro
It’s hard to disguise something that needs to be big enough to do everything that the Same Neo 2 Pro does, because it does a LOT. It warms, it vibrates, it sucks, it sings, it dances, it makes you a sandwich afterwards.
But with the cap screwed on between uses, Sam Neo Pro 2 looks nothing like the overtly sexual designs of its competitors. The sleek, matte-black finish and the fluted body, as well as the discreet logo and anonymous silhouette, make this as subtle as a male masturbator can possibly be.
If someone catches a surreptitious glimpse of it, lying in a drawer or left on your desk, they’re much more likely to assume it’s a Bluetooth speaker or something. Whatever they assume it is, they won’t immediately assume it’s a sex toy… unless they walk in on you using it. Then you’re on your own.
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Phoenix Neo 2
Very, very few casual observers would glance at the Phoenix Neo 2 and immediately identify it as a sex toy. In fact, it’s categorized as an ‘egg vibrator,’ but it doesn’t look much like an egg either. Make of that what you will.
Phoenix Neo 2 looks like an ornament. Or a decorative phone holder. Or a million other things, none of which are sex toys. Svakom’s commitment to elegant pleasure objects is in full expression with Phoenix Neo 2, which looks as much at home in your purse as it does on your bedside table.
Let’s put it this way. When something is beautiful, it doesn’t induce the same feeling of embarrassment as something that looks ugly and anatomical. If nothing else, Pheonix Neo 2 is certainly beautiful.
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Tammy
Look at Tammy. If you picked it up from beside a friend’s sink, surrounded by skincare products and facial massagers, would you automatically think it’s a vibrating double cock ring? Well, maybe YOU would, because you’re here on this website so you’ve got a headstart on everyone else. But most people wouldn’t.
Most people would think this luxurious couple’s toy is a facial cleansing brush or something like that. And to be fair, they wouldn’t be wrong – you can use the Svakom Tammy in that way if you’re so inclined. It’s surprisingly good.
But Tammy is the perfect thing to throw in your makeup bag if you’re going away for a sexy weekend with a loved one. Even the most scrupulous airport security folk wouldn’t bat an eye.
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Pulse Galaxie
It’s called the Pulse Galaxie because it’s out of this world, and it looks it. It’s a suction vibrator, it vibrates the air around your clitoris, but placed in its shell, it must be one of the most innocuous sex toys ever made.
It really is safe to sit discreetly beside your bed without drawing any uncomfortable attention, well within reach whenever you need it. Or take it with you: anyone who glances inside your bag will assume it’s a portable vanity mirror.
If you need a sex toy that truly delivers on its orgasmic promises but will never raise an eyebrow, the Pulse Galaxie is the best choice for you.
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Nymph
Ok we admit it, it’s pretty hard to pass Nymph off as anything other than a sex toy. It’s one of those things that just… looks sexy. But it also doesn’t suit the profile of a conventional sex toy, does it?
In a pinch, you could pass it off as some sort of fancy hair styling contraption, or a muscle relief massager, or, I dunno, a high-tech clothes peg. Maybe a small salad mixer. But this article is about sex toys that don’t look like sex toys, and by that criterion, Nymph may be the best of all. Look at it. It’s gorgeous.
Conclusion
There’s a million and one different reasons why we might need to conceal our pleasure products. It’s not right that it has to be this way, but that’s the way it is. If you’re choosing sex toys for a blend of pleasure and discretion, any one of the toys above will suit you perfectly.
And you can rest assured that we take privacy seriously. Our packaging is discreet, our site is safe, and your information is secure. The rest is up to you. Good luck out there.
