What Is Pompoir? How to Practice Pelvic Floor Control During Sex
by Jamie Lane
Pompoir is a sexual technique that uses controlled pelvic-floor contractions during penetration, usually while both partners keep their hips relatively still. It may sound like a secret sexual technique, but the basic idea is fairly simple. It involves using the pelvic floor muscles to create gentle contractions during penetration while the hips and body remain relatively still. The stimulation comes from squeeze and release, not from thrusting. You may also see it called the Singapore grip. The marketing around “milking” or “twisting” a penis is mostly branding. What you can actually train is control: lift, hold, pulse, let go.
Quick answer: Learn the same muscles used for a Kegel first. Then, during consensual penetration, keep the hips quiet and add slow pulses. If penetration already hurts, leaking is new, or the pelvis feels heavy, skip pompoir and get assessed. A tight pelvic floor is not fixed by squeezing harder — see when Kegels help and when they do not.
What Is Pompoir — and How Does It Work?
Pompoir is a sexual technique built around pelvic-floor coordination. Kegels are basic pelvic-floor exercises that involve contracting and relaxing these muscles. They overlap, but they are not the same thing. Kegels help you learn how to engage and release the muscles, while pompoir applies that control during sexual activity.
A 2017 study of 40 women found differences in vaginal pressure distribution and pelvic-floor contraction patterns between women who practiced Pompoir and those who did not. The Pompoir group was also able to sustain pressure for longer during one of the contraction tasks. However, this was a small cross-sectional study, so it cannot establish that Pompoir causes these differences or that it improves sexual pleasure or orgasm.
If you are postpartum, your timing and recovery plan should come from your healthcare provider — see sex after giving birth if that page is live, and the pelvic-floor guides if it is not.
How to Practice Pelvic Floor Control
Sit or lie down. Soften the buttocks and inner thighs. Imagine pausing urine or holding in gas — that lift is the group you want. Or you can choose to use a finger with water-based lubricant for feedback, the goal is to notice a gentle lift or squeeze rather than pushing downward. Never force the contraction or continue if it causes pain. If you only feel the abs or glutes working, you are not there yet.
Practice off-sex first:
Lift and hold for three seconds, then fully release for three.
Pulse: short squeezes without hiking the shoulders.
Breathe. Breath-holding is how people recruit the wrong muscles.
A full starter routine lives in pelvic floor training 101. Do not add vaginal weights if sex already hurts or you cannot relax after a squeeze.
How to Try Pompoir During Sex
Get aroused first. Dry, rushed entry makes every squeeze feel like friction.
Choose a position where the person with a vagina can notice the muscles — often on top, or seated face to face. Deep thrusting fights the point of the exercise.
Ask the partner to stay still once they are inside.
Add a slow pulse around them: squeeze, pause, release. Count out loud if it helps.
Alternate a longer hold with a few short pulses. Stop if anything stings, burns, or makes you feel like you need to push.
The partner’s job is to report what they feel without turning it into a performance review. “I notice a pulse” is useful feedback. Asking for more pressure can encourage unnecessary tension, which defeats the purpose of the exercise.
Solo practice with a slim toy is optional. Solo practice with a suitable toy is optional. The goal is to build awareness and control, not to use more stimulation or pressure. Stay with the female sex toys collection only if insertion is already comfortable.
When to Skip Pompoir
Skip pompoir, and skip extra Kegels, if you have pain with entry, a sense of heaviness or bulging, trouble emptying the bladder, or a floor that never lets go after you squeeze. Those patterns need a pelvic-floor clinician, not a more advanced “grip.” Hypertonic muscle is the usual miss in this topic.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is pompoir the same as doing Kegels during sex?
No. Kegels train a basic lift and release. Pompoir uses that control during still penetration, with a rhythm. You still need the Kegel skill first.
Does pompoir make orgasms stronger?
There is no good evidence that Pompoir reliably produces stronger orgasms. Some people may find that pelvic-floor awareness changes how sexual stimulation feels, but experiences vary widely.
Can beginners do pompoir?
Yes, at a simple level: find the muscle, then add slow pulses while the hips stay quiet. Ignore lists of “twist, lock, milk” until a basic squeeze and full release are easy and pain-free.
Do I need Kegel balls?
No. A finger or quiet practice is enough to start. Weights only make sense after you can contract and fully relax without pain.
Does this work without a penis?
The same pelvic-floor control can be practiced around a finger, a suitable toy, or a partner. The focus is still on controlled contraction and relaxation rather than force.
Why does squeezing make sex hurt?
You may be bearing down, holding your breath, or working with a floor that is already tight. Stop. Pain is not a training cue.
This article is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for pelvic-floor physiotherapy or medical care. Do not start squeeze-based training if you have pelvic pain, painful sex, prolapse symptoms, or recent birth until a qualified clinician says it is appropriate.
Jamie Lane Jamie Lane is a passionate sex educator and sexual wellness advocate dedicated to pleasure-focused, shame-free sexuality. With years of experience in counseling, workshops, and content creation, she empowers individuals and couples to confidently explore body autonomy, intimacy, and pleasure. Using a science-based and inclusive approach, Jamie shares honest sex toy insights and evidence-backed tips for deeper connections. Join her in breaking taboos and embracing a more fulfilling sex life.
Curious about what lube is used for? This guide explains the benefits of personal lubricant for sexual comfort, toy play, and intimacy. Learn why water-based lube is the safest choice for most people and silicone toys
Whether you’re looking for answers for yourself or for your partner, let’s start with one clear point: difficulty reaching orgasm is common, and in most cases, it’s not a sign that something is wrong.
Choosing your first sex toy doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Discover how to explore safely, confidently, and at your own pace—with guidance designed to support, not pressure.
Discover evidence-based fingering techniques for mind-blowing pleasure. Learn beginner-to-advanced methods for clitoral and G-spot stimulation, essential safety steps, common mistakes, and how the SVAKOM Echo 2 finger vibrator elevates manual play. Consent-first, people-focused advice for couples and solo explorers.
A decrease in sexual desire doesn’t mean something is wrong. Discover how stress, fatigue, and your nervous system influence libido—and how to reconnect gently, without pressure.
At a party recently, a man told me he spent over $100 on a sex toy to reignite his marriage — only for his wife to say she didn’t like it. The disappointment quickly turned into resentment.
That moment made it clear: the problem isn’t usually the toy. It’s the pressure we put on one product to fix everything, when most of us barely know our own desires.
Versatile pleasure products change everything. One toy, many sensations. If one doesn’t work, another might. No fear of choosing “wrong” — just joyful exploration.
From DuoGlow’s 5-in-one design to Beatrice’s full-body wand and Margot’s clever G-spot curve, versatility turns pleasure into discovery… and removes the pressure for good.
Anxiety doesn’t just affect the mind: it impacts the body and sexual desire, too. Discover how your nervous system influences pleasure, and how to reconnect with compassion and awareness.
Discover the art of dual pleasure with DuoGlow. Designed to stimulate internally and externally in perfect harmony, this refined dual vibrator invites you to explore layered sensation with balance, intention, and control.
Wondering what cock rings do? This guide explains how they work to enhance erections and pleasure, with benefits for solo or couples play. Includes types like vibrating rings and essential safety tips
