How to Make Missionary Fun Again: The Vibrator Trick That Changes the Whole Game

At first, it was fun. It worked quite efficiently. Until it started feeling less and less engaging, and eventually stopped working altogether. Missionary can be like that: a guarantee at first, and a boring routine after a while. The question is: is it normal to always need something new? Is predictability a definite turn-off? And is it possible to make missionary fun again?

When Penetration Is Doing All the Work

In a recent article, we explored why many women need clitoral stimulation to come during sex. Some women can also come without direct stimulation, but the chances are significantly lower. In missionary, the problem is that penetration is often the only thing happening. The classic in-and-out can be pleasurable, of course, but it might not be enough—at least not in the long run.

Clitoral Stimulation Can Change the Experience

Let's look at a few factors involving female anatomy and the science of pleasure. During missionary, the angle alone can change the entire game. But why not ask for more?

If the penetrating partner leans forward, he can add pressure to her clit and increase her chances of reaching orgasm. This is already an upgrade to the usual technique; however, it requires quite a bit of work. In other words, unless you're looking for a workout, it might be a little strenuous.

The solution we love most? Using a clitoral suction toy to change the entire experience. For her, it might be one of the most exciting ways to get the best of penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time. For him, it might be a show worth watching—and an easier approach if a workout wasn't part of the plan.

Legit question for the ladies: what does suction stimulation actually feel like? First of all, no worries—nothing is literally sucking anything. It's more of a sensation, in our case created by pulsating air. The idea behind suction stimulation is to reproduce the feeling of oral sex. Yep, you got it. When done right, it's a one-way ticket to paradise.

Does it actually work during penetration? Wouldn't it be distracting? Of course, sensations—and likes or dislikes—vary from one person to another. There is no universal answer, just one truth: experimenting is the best way to find out what you like most. Some women love combining toys and penetration, while others prefer to keep them separate. It's up to you. Our suggestion? Try it out!

Suction, Vibration, or Both: What Should You Choose?

If you don't know where to start, here are a couple of directions.

Suction and vibrating toys are two different animals, but both are worth trying. Take Klitty, for example. One of our newest arrivals, it's a triple-action licking, sucking, and vibrating stimulator that offers plenty of combinations to try. If you're in two minds about which toy to pick, you can't go wrong with this one.

On the other hand, for a toy that combines classic vibration with a detachable pulsating stimulator, look no further than DuoGlow. Basically five toys in one, DuoGlow gives you a heated, thrusting beaded vibrator to use by itself or together with the pulsator.

To sum it up, pick Klitty if you want to try suction and vibration together, or DuoGlow if you want more freedom over where to feel each sensation.

What Makes a Toy Good for Partnered Sex?

Let's cut to the chase: how do you choose a sex toy when it's not for solo play? When it comes to missionary, the key question is simple: how easy is it to use without making the position too complicated? If she uses it, the options are pretty much unlimited. If he needs to use it, a variation of missionary where he is more stable—perhaps with his knees bent—works better.

The key features are simple: small enough, easy to hold, and comfortable for both of you. Beyond Klitty and DuoGlow, you can also use a portable vibrator such as Edeny, which is small enough for any position but fun enough to provide everything you need.

Why the Best Vibrator for Couples Is Not Always the Biggest One

Again, bigger is not always better when it comes to toys. For specific positions, choose toys that won't kill the mood by being overly complicated or simply too bulky.

Step 1: Bring the Toy In During Foreplay

The first piece of advice is to bring it in during foreplay. Start with the slower modes and use it lightly at first to avoid overstimulating the body or climaxing too soon. If you're using a vibrator, saving the clitoris for last might be a good idea, giving her time to build up arousal. You can also use the vibrator on other body parts, such as the nipples and the areas around the vulva.

Step 2: Find an Angle That Gives You Enough Space

The second tip is to experiment with angles. Keep in mind that new positions are sometimes nothing more than variations of the classics, but with easier access, more comfortable support, or a slightly different view. The idea behind making missionary fun again is to create more space between the two of you, so you can use your hands differently, look at each other, or introduce a toy.

Step 3: Position It Before the Rhythm Gets Too Intense

It's a no-brainer: toys are easier to introduce when you're building towards the edge, but not yet too close to climax. As a rule of thumb, pick your toy before things get too heated and position it before the rhythm gets too fast. You don't want to interrupt the moment and fumble around in the toy box right when things are becoming intense.

Small Tweaks, Major Upgrade: Missionary Level Unlocked

Ever tried using a pillow? Yes, pillows aren't just for sleeping. They can offer amazing support when you want to try something different without going full acrobatic mode. After all, sex is better when it's comfortable. For missionary, try placing the pillow under her lower back. Her hips will be lifted, giving you easier access.

Speed isn't always the answer. On the contrary, sometimes slowing down is what helps both of you enjoy the moment even more. Even if you're not practising edging, slowing down can bring you both back to the present, extend the pleasure, and lower arousal slightly. Once you've slowed down, you can switch to a little grinding, moving inside her instead of going in and out.

Last but not least, remember that you can use more than one toy at the same time or switch between them, giving yourselves a little time to rest and recover without ruining the mood. For example, you can add a cock ring, or perhaps a bullet if you're also planning to explore anal play.

Other Positions Where a Small Toy Works Surprisingly Well

Need more ideas? Well, we've got plenty. Small toys are great for couples because they give you endless options.

Cowgirl: More Control and Easier Clitoral Access

This is one of the first positions to try after missionary. Cowgirl, or woman on top, is a favourite for many women because it gives her the most control over pace, depth, and speed. At the same time, if you're underneath her, your hands are free to do whatever you want—and that might include using toys.

Spooning: Low Effort, Close Contact, and Plenty of Space

This is a cosy position that lets you enjoy the moment while leaving plenty of space to work with almost any toy. While she lies on her side, you can use your free hand to play from the front. Try a small vibrator or a rabbit vibrator; you can wear a cock ring, or she can use the toy herself.

Missionary Doesn’t Need a New Reputation–Just a Better Upgrade

Our final thoughts? Missionary isn't boring if you do it right. You need a few variations, some willingness to try new things, and the right person to do them with. You are not doomed to stop enjoying sex. In life, we all love a little change, variety, and new experiences. Get a new toy, try a new angle, switch up the space, and use pillows or other tools to add some excitement to the plot. You've got this.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ivy H.

Relationships & Sexual Wellness Writer

Relationships Dating Sexual Wellness Modern Intimacy

Ivy Huang is a relationship and sexual wellness writer specializing in modern dating, intimacy, and personal well-being. With years of experience creating educational content for global sexual wellness brands, she helps readers navigate relationships, communication, pleasure, and self-discovery with confidence and clarity.

Through her writing, Ivy explores topics ranging from dating trends and attachment styles to sexual health and emotional intimacy. She is passionate about making conversations around relationships and sexuality more approachable, inclusive, and evidence-based.

Her mission is to empower individuals to build healthier connections, embrace their authentic desires, and cultivate fulfilling relationships at every stage of life.